Sunday, May 15, 2011

My Cat Hates Me

I don't make it a secret of the horrors that my evil cat, Rasputin, has put me through.  Since we've moved to Boston, our catty has developed quite a few annoying habits pertaining to his food.  When he is bored he enjoys swatting his food bowls around on the floor.  This makes a pleasing scraping noise as the plastic bowls gracefully don't glide across the linoleum floor.  It's also nice to find the floor covered in water when he has been working hard at beating the water bowl for no reason.

I will admit that often the cause of this food bowl swatting is the lack of fresh food in the food bowl.  When he is forced to eat day old cat food, he starts moving his bowls around to try and see if any fresher food is hiding underneath.  Because of this I only add a thin layer of cat food at a time to his bowl, as opposed to a giant mound.  That way, he won't have old, stale food when he reaches the bottom.  Doing this requires me to have to fill up his food bowl more often.  This means the food bowl may be empty for a short period of time before I notice he needs food, and can result in starving the cat a little.  Just a little.

Oh, he gets his revenge!  He takes a few morsels of food out of his food bowl and then spits them on the nearby carpet or linoleum floor.  He then eats half of a piece of food and then lets the rest of the food in his mouth fall to the floor.  He does this with every bite, resulting in a million tiny spit out food particles all over the floor.  Sometimes he decides that he needs to go 6 feet out of the kitchen before he can start half eating his food.  So his food mess is spread throughout the tiny kitchen and into the living room.

 After a hard day of swatting food and water dishes around the floor.

 Though not visible in the photos, there is a giant puddle of water on the floor.  I love it when it comes into contact with the cat food bits - so much fun to clean up.

This mess is produced in about 4 days.  Ew.  So, every 4 days I have to clean this crap up!

I wish he would just eat out of his bowl like a normal cat...and not swat his water bowl.   Yeah, it would be cool if he didn't do that.

That's right, crack head! I'm talking about you!


  1. O M G, while the events of this post aren't funny (okay so as a fellow cat owner they are kinda funny!) your knack for story telling makes it hilarious! : )

    Don't feel too bad littlest grem-lion (because I think while they look like little lions they are really evil little gremlins!)...eats so fast because she's a big fatty she pushes half of her food (dry food mixed with wet food so ew on that texture) out of her bowl all over the linoleum but for some reason she won't eat it once it's on the floor but she WILL go push aside my other grem-lions to do the same to their food. Jerky little cat! So I feel your pain!

  2. lol! Cats are such weird little creatures.

  3. LOL!!! At one point in my life I had 8 cats that all had there own I have four boys...not much different. They also bat there food around and half eat it on the floor. This is a good life lesson. I would get the little bastard heavey stone ware for dogs. Ha ! Take that evil half chewing cat!!!

    Do you Estorbo??? You should - he is an evil genius cat too . Makes me laugh so hard I make puddles on the floor...imagine Antonio a over a's pretty awesome...I swear...

  4. Good idea about the heavy food dishes! I am going to look into finding him something that won't move, lol.

    I hadn't heard of that catty. He's pretty funny!! :)


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